Everybody has backstories. 

It is easy to say that you know a person, without really weighing the essence of what ‘knowing’ someone really is. Chances are, you don’t know that person at all, you just think you do. You are merely familiar with the idea of the person that you have blatantly pieced together from the inadequate assumptions. 

You see, we are judgemental beings. It is an automatic respose, a mechanism of survival in society. Initially, we judge a person based on appearance, and only upon approach do we really know how the person really is, under our own scrutiny that is. Still, talking to someone on a daily basis does not mean you know that person. It’s not as simple as that. Each and every person is an ever-expanding universe waiting to be discovered. Beneath all the skin and bones, through the crevices of the heart and deeper into the soul, there is someone who is much more than meets the eye. 

I had an open table session with my class yesterday– a sharing session to voice out what we really feel. I don’t really like open tables. I’m used to writing out my feelings, not voicing them out loud. It has always been the way I cope with discontempt or ill-feelings. I vent them out through words and forget them that way. However, keeping your woes silent can never be good for the soul, it festers something poisonous that will eat you up, inside out.  

Yesterday my opinion towards the people around me changed. Turns out, the people I thought I knew, were complete strangers. When they spoke from their hearts, I realise that there so much more to a person. That is why we are taught to assume good things of a person. Husnudzon. Even when a person does a terrible thing, we do not know the motives or reasons that compelled them to act the way they did.

There are different types of people in the world, God made us all different. It’s our differences that makes life interesting. As part of a society, we need to learn to put aside our differences and foster a more tolerant outtake of the world. In order for there to be unity, there has to be equal amount of give and take. I see that now.

I also realised that everyone is struggling with something. Some want to be accepted, others just want to be understood. We approach things differently, the way each of us know how. We were raised differently and we’ve all dealt with our different sets of challenges. Knowing this, passing judgement on other people based on false assumptions just seems incredibly stupid — which is exactly what it is.

So you see, people are full of surprises. The better we accept that, the better we’ll treat people. No one really knows how a person really is save for God. Who are we to judge?


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